I started watching Mrs. America during the pandemic to help pass the time and escape with the show’s all-star cast. The premise of the story focuses on the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) through the eyes of Gloria Steinem (played by Rose Byrne) and other second wave feminists. The story wouldn’t be whole if the ERA’s uphill battle wasn’t defined. Conservative anti-feminist and antagonist of the show Phyllis Schlafly (Cate Blanchette) mobilized a grassroots movement against the ERA and until watching the show I must admit I had no idea who Schlafly was. As a woman, Schlafly baffles me! She actively goes against the likes of Steinem and the ERA opposing issues like equal pay and abortion.
Who I really want to focus on though is Gloria Steinem and not for the reasons you may think. I want to focus on her to speak about my vulnerabilities with my confidence (or sometimes lack thereof).
Apart from Steinem’s cool style, witty intellect and utter determination she bodes this kind of seductive confidence that I truly yearn for. I want to embody that kind of buoyancy in my professional life and my personal life.
A few years back, I was having lunch at the Mark Hotel with my best friend Becky and we sat two tables down from her. I wasn’t necessarily star struck but felt safe and super excited to be near such a fucking legend.
For those of you unfamiliar with Steinem, Steinem was and is the face of the women’s movement. A forever trailblazer (I wish I was a trailblazer) Steinem co-founded Ms. Magazine (an all women run publication) and co-founded of the National Women’s Political caucus, which essentially played a major part in passing the ERA. I think her will to name a goal and achieve it is what I am most in awe of and she did so unapologetically. I personally aim to motivate for that kind of determination.
In episode four, Gloria and her female staff sit around at Ms. Magazine headquarters discussing pitch ideas for the next issue of the magazine. Progressive story topics are bounced back and forth between each of the women as incessant ringing of the phones divert our attention from the background.
After answering the phone, Gloria asks one of her colleagues to obtain a copy of Screw Magazine. When her colleague returns with a copy she has a very grim look on her face and tells Gloria that she might want to look at the particular issue in private. Gloria assures her its fine.
Once she opens the magazine, a horrid look comes over her face. In the magazine is a pin up centerfold of what looks like Gloria Steinem with a tag line that “Pin The Cock On The Feminist”.
The look on Gloria’s face jolted me. I look at a woman like her and think wow, she’s unbreakable – and I compare myself to that. Except, I am comparing myself to something that actually isn’t real, which oftentimes sets me up for failure before I even try. Yes, Gloria Steinem is strong willed and yes, her skin might be thicker than mine and perhaps she’s less sensitive than I am, however, the scene reminded me that she’s still human. Humans are allowed to feel defeat and we’re allowed to feel embarrassed. I forget that sometimes and strive for this unrealistic idea of perfection. When I can’t meet that level of perfection I think to myself, I am achieving this self-fulfilling prophecy of this notion that I am failure.
More often than not, I give too much of a shit, which is great and it gives me the drive, but it also takes a lot of rationality out of my thinking and decision making.